Fake growth

FAKE GROWTH

where

silence = growth

What is growth?

This is process in which each person can develop their unique potential, skills and expand its knowledge in order to have progress and success in their life on a personal and professional level.

What is fake growth?

Today we are witnessing a promotion of growth that contain setback, curved mirroring and accepting yourself the way some other people see us or want to see us with the promise of predefined by somebody else success for us at the end of the process. In other words growth that want you to fit in a predefined box by somebody else in most cases for their own benefit.

Today I will make observation of this topic and share some of the methods and practices used in the process of the fake growth.

What is behind the fake growth?

Methods

  1. Curved mirror – often is mixed with mirroring of the person combined with lies. This is a way to accept the lies which you wouldn`t agree or accept at first place or in normal situation.
  2. Mental abuse – toxic behavior, insulting, devaluation of the person. All the spectrum of mental abuse that lead to desired results of the oppressor.
  3. Gasligtening – these are activities that target to blurred your clear perception of reality, about yourself, skills, potential, situations and people around you.
  4. Drama triangle – it is formed by 3 type of participants: oppressor, savor and victim, and you are placed as victim. In this form of use of drama triangle often the oppressor and the savor act together or even can be one and the same person or organization. The target is to blur your reality, destroy your confidence or even you as a person in order to accept the terms and conditions of the savor predefined for you. This is the model of destroy and build back better looks like. And it is not made for your interest but for their interest and benefit in order to control and use each person the way it please them best.
  5. Silencing – can be made by banning you on every level of personal and professional life and also by corruption with the so called “success” they plan for you.

Target results

  1. Manipulation – beign able to manipulate the people activities and actions gives an army to execute your plans weather they are good or bad. Usually, good for those that perform and bad for the rest and manipulated ones.
  2. Control – the control over your decisions, activities, actions and life gives them another tool to perform their plan if the manipulation doesn`t work. You will be literally enforced by the created circumstances to perform what is planned or pre defined by them which in some cases can endanger your life as well.
  3. Decision Making on your behalf – by destroying your confidence they gain access to your decision making which opens the door for easier manipulation and control over you.
  4. Use of the people – by devaluating you and not appreciating your value they target to use your potential and value for free in order to increase the benefits for themselves while giving you crumbs for which you must be very thankful and happy.
  5. Avoid opposition – using silencing technics it is a very good way to avoid any possible opposition. Either there is no opposition because its banned and has no power or either it is corrupted and won`t question them at all. In both cases the target is there to be no witnesses and evidence of the performed abuse and criminal activities.

If you think this is not possible these are some real cases where the above methods were used:

It seems like somebody took the bad example of the those models and methods and use it over the people to manipulate and control the masses for their own benefit and power gain.

The results:

for the people

  1. Destroyed personal and professional lives.
  2. Cases of depression, suicides, mental and other illnesses.
  3. Lost benefits and profit from the stolen value.
  4. Blocked development of their unique potential.
  5. Lost time of their life that can`t be compensated.
  6. Breaking their human`s rights.

for the society

  1. Promoting wrong values in the society as corruption, abuse, full obedience and enslavement without questioning the bad activities and orders which literally is killing the democracy and the freedom.
  2. From 98% creative geniuses at the age of 4-5 years old only 2% remain creative geniuses at the age of 31 years old. This leads to missed profits and solutions of our problems for the society due to lack of the realization of 96% of the human`s creative potential.

What you need to remember ?

  1. Such activities are illegal.
  2. They break your human`s right.
  3. They break the Nuremberg Code.
  4. They break the applicable laws in your country for your case.

What you can do to protect yourself and your mental health?

  1. Follow a journey or list of your activities.
  2. Collect evidences.
  3. Too much coincidences is not a coincidence.
  4. Contact the police, a lawyer or the respective authorities when you have evidence. 
  5. Remember in such cases there is nothing wrong with you.
  6. Make a personal SWOT analysis to keep a clear vision of your abilities and who you are. You can see more here Personal SWOT analysis
  7. Speak about your experience with friends, family, share on social medias or make a blog about it. 
  8. Contact a coach that understand situation you are in. In some cases coaching practices are used to enforce the manipulation and gasligtening over the people.
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The new era of team building

The new era of team building

COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY

One of the most crucial parts of your business is to build a great team.

How do build an amazing and motivated team in the dynamic of today’s challenges?

How do build the needed trust between employees in the team?

How do build the needed trust between the teams to work together to reach the company’s targets and vision?

How to create a supportive environment in the workplace?

Why is so important?

  • Bad communication could create a toxic environment and unnecessary stress.
  • Bad communication can destroy your team.
  • Lack of communication can affect the execution of the teams’ work and your business activities. This could cause delays, and have bad effects on the quality of your products and services.
  • Bad communication or lack of it could lead to bad management and teams decisions.

What are the characteristics of effective communication?

  • Timely – If employees don`t communicate the information with your team on time this could cause a lot of delays and could be critical for the team`s and even the company`s work.
  • Clear – if employees and the management don`t send a clear message and communicate clearly there is a big risk of misunderstanding and low performance.
  • Open – share the needed information to support the team and have a better understanding of what, how, and why they have to perform the work. Be open to feedback from your teammates or other teams and try to understand their point of view or the challenginges they are facing.
  • Kindness – be kind and show genuine care for others.

One of the challenges is: How to make sure that what we are saying and our message would be heard and taken into account?

As a Site financial controller, I was assigned to the responsible person (acting as Site financial director) on an Internal control survey. The survey was big with a lot of questions and information to be uploaded, including all the activities and management on the Site. I had to control the process, support, explain and make sure that each of the participants/ responsible managers for the implementation of the internal rules in their teams. The interesting and challenging part was how to motivate and keep accountable employees on a higher level in the organization chart to perform the required work while having a lot of work and stress on their shoulders to meet the targets of the project?

Here is how:

  • Great team of professionals – without the team it would be difficult to complete a survey that is not in your area of work.
  • Smile – the smile not only opens doors but has the ability to pass through walls. When approaching the person brings positive energy to the room.
  • Kindness and understanding- genuine care. Try to understand the other point of view and their situation, and offer help or support. Sometimes people have a lot of stress or work on their shoulders and if you add more stress definitely won`t help to meet the targets together.
  • Appreciation of the other person’s time – short and effective meetings with prepared variants of actions will save you time but stay open also to other proposals as well.
  • Flexibility – give room for different ways or time targets and follow the progress to be able to perform the work in the most suitable way for the team members.
  • Support – be there to support the team with information, explanation, technical support, and any proper or applicable support you can perform.

The results?

Our project was in first place in the completion of the survey made on all company`s projects around the world. It was a difficult time for all the team facing a delay at that time but together we made it to the top of this assignment.

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The New Era of managing employees

The New Era of managing employees

The most important and hardest part of one business is the relationships with the people in it. Many surveys and research shows a high amount of stress and toxicity in their workplace. In the desire for good results companies sometimes could create an environment that interferes with the employees from performing at their best.

What we can do to improve the working environment and create a supportive one? What does the new era of managing employees mean?

The short answer:

  • Trust,
  • Fairness,
  • Empathy,
  • Leadership,
  • Collaboration,
  • Communication.

To create a supportive working environment, those elements have to be well established in the company.

HOW YOU CAN IMPROVE THOSE AREAS?

You can start by defining what are the problems and what has to be improved with:

TWO-WAY FEEDBACK

Most companies have quarterly or yearly reviews for their employees but how good is the feedback from the employees if any?

In order to prevent unpredicted situations and surprises, you need to know how good is the working envierment in your company for which you need such feedback from your employees. How you can do it?

MAKE A QUIZ.

We have quizzes for our client’s satisfaction. Why not for the satisfaction of the people that take care of your business?

Make a weekly or monthly survey with 5 to 6 predefined questions. For example:

  • How satisfied you are with your work?
  • How satisfied you are with the work environment?
  • How satisfied you are with your team collaboration?
  • How satisfied you are with the collaboration with the other teams?
  • How supportive is your manager in your professional development?
  • What are your remarks, recommendation, proposals, and possibility for improvement?

Send it at the end of each week or month via your internal system or e-mail.

If you have an average or less than the average satisfaction level you need to have a discussion in that area to define:

  • What exactly has to be improved?
  • Why?
  • How?

I would recommend the results to be accessible only to your HR team as you don`t want some problems to be lost or to be created more.

The target is to be notified as soon as possible for the first sights of bad work conditions, behavior or problems.

Such surveys also build trust with your employees showing them that you care about their work experience and their satisfaction working for your company.

For more information:

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Why is important to reveal your employees’​ potential?

Why is important to reveal your employees'​ potential?

Are you using the full potential of your company?

If you don`t have a program to release the full potential of your employees may be not and you are missing good opportunities.

What does this mean?

We are used to thinking regarding our employees as a workforce that can perform only the tasks related to their positions, education, and experience. What stays hidden is their potential in different areas. Your employees could be multitalented, having interests and talents in different areas that could actually help your company grow and expand in many areas. The fact that at age of 31 years only 2% of 98% at the age of 4-5 years old people remain creative geniuses means that in 96% of the people their creativity is waiting to be awakened and at least 96% of your employees are sleeping creative geniuses.

This means that if you reveal your employees’ potential and weak up their creativity you will be able to grow and develop your organization in ways you haven`t imagined or considered so far. From your everyday processes to new products or services, new areas, or creating a new market niche that could actually increase your revenue. And as the human potential is infinite you will open the door for infinite opportunities for your company as well.

From where to start?

Your employees are human beings. They have dreams, personal life, and their own life plan and vision that includes their personal and professional life that you have to respect. So before start making plans for your company`s workforce, working positions, and promotions, you have to make sure that the plans of your employees are matching with your plans for them in your company.

How?

Start with an honest coaching session with them. Make sure that during the meeting you will build trust between you and your employees by the following steps:

  1. The employees should know that whatever they share in the meeting with you will be confidential and they won`t be punished for their words, plans, or vision. Make and do it in real. No judgment, no punishment. The worst thing is to lose the trust of your employees.
  2. Prepare an internal agreement that protects their information and rights.
  3. Ask questions to define what are their common goals related to your company:
  • What is their lifetime plan regarding their work and career?
  • Do they have other areas of interest?
  • Do they want to develop their skills in other areas or businesses?
  • Do they want to start their own business? Even if the answer is yes this doesn`t mean that the employee won`t work well or perform well. Even the opposite. Those employees will want to gain a good experience, build a legacy and good name that will help them when they start their own business. So it`s not necessarily a bad thing and the good thing is that you will have time to find a new person on time. Ask your employee when he/she plans to start their business and to train the person that will replace them. Again their best interest is to leave a well-trained person at their place.
  • In what business area do they want to have their own business?
  • Is it related to your business? If it is you can even become partners and expand your activities.
  • What do they think of their work in the company?
  • What do they think of the environment in the company?
  • Do they have any challenges? Don`t be fast to judge them. Often the problem is in the process not in the people. Try to find the real reason that causes the challenges, problems, or delays, if any.
  • What causes the challenges, the problems, or the delays at work?
  • Are they interested in another scope of work in the company?
  • What they would change, add, develop, create or expand in and out of your company? Whether you like the answer or not do not judge the employee. Your main task is to listen, understand your employee and look from their perspective and point of view.
  • Why they would the mentioned changes?
  • What are their professional dreams?
  • What kind of hobbies do they have as children?
  • What were their favorite games?

Invest some of your time, the time of your HR team, or the direct manager (depending on the structure of your company) in developing the potential in your employees and you could end up with the best investment you had ever made after the investment in you and your company.

If you don`t have time you can join the company`s Business coaching programs or contact the responsible coach Svetla Staykova.

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Personal SWOT analysis – don`t let anybody else to define YOU

Personal SWOT analysis

No right answer!?

Have you ever experienced it? May be often than you think.

This situation is designed to make you wrong whatever of the obvious choices you choose and foolish you. This is I would say another form of gaslighting and I would like to give more clarity as it is spread largely leaving people with damaged self-esteem, lives while making a profit for the people that do it.

Very often both form gaslighting and the drama triangle are combined and the abuser in the triangle is using gaslighting to make the victim hopeless (without a good future without them). Learn more about them here

They start by attacking the way you see yourself. You might even don`t understand it because it could start with great feedback for something that is not quite great but it`s good to believe it. So why not? It feels so good (here I am not talking about genuine feedback). This is the point where they will gain your trust and shortly after will come the bad one if you don`t want to follow the right direction.

Second phase: No right answer.

Whatever you do is wrong even it`s not. But you already believe those people that glamorized you so you should listen to them and do what they want from you. If not we are coming to the rescuer that appears in order to save you, build you again, and bully you again if you are not following their desires. Like this, a lot of people are blocked in the circle of manipulation and mental violence that control their lives. They try to put shame on people for the things that they actually do to them and people are afraid to talk about this.

I want to give you some examples so you will be able to understand better.

Example 1:

Question to politician: The previous political party said they will take to jail a specific group, person, criminals, who you will put in jail?

Any of the obvious answers is wrong. Yes, even if say who deserves it. Why? Because is not their job to put somebody in jail they have to build them a fair system that has to do this.

Example 2:

A call to the fair fighting team to help for moving a paralyzed person for medical treatment. If they do it is wrong because it`s not their job to do it. If they don`t the person could die. So it`s good that they had helped but the right answer is where is the support for those people.

Example 3:

In the workplace. Your boss is out of the office but there is a sudden important visit or a colleague come to you with a request to help for something that is not your job. If you denied your boss will blame you that you are an unsupportive team member and you don’t think of the company. If you help then they will blame you that this is not your job and it`s not done well, or you mess up everything even if you don`t.

Example 4:

They gave you work out of your scope but when a colleague comes to you with a related problem they blame you that you are a schemer or a gossip. If you don`t take it into account then again is bad because you are not performing the work.

Example 5:

A connection asks you for money or it could be a charity organization. If you refuse you will be defined as coldhearted and you lack humanity. If you help you could be scammed. You can ask for their registration and ask them to raise funding on the specialized platforms for such activities.

Example 6:

You are in a situation where you need something but the choices you have will only bring more problems. In other words, you will be fooled if you try but also if you don`t. So the solution is a third choice. Depending on the case it will be different but one thing is sure neither to try nor to not try will be good for you. In such cases stick to your core values and what is right.

Another method of manipulation is to promise you something with many conditions to please and when it will happen it`s not clear.

Don`t stay a victim of such a violent circle. Take control of your life.

HOW?

KNOW YOURSELF!

MAKE A SWOT ANALYSIS OF YOURSELF

Straights:

  • What are your skills?
  • What are your talents?
  • What you are doing effortlessly?
  • What you are really good at?
  • You can make skill tests. There are different platform that offer different type of tests.
  • What is your potential?
  • What are your values?
  • What are your straights?
  • What childhood interests or dreams did you have? Have you done something about them? Is it possible to be one of your talents?
  • With what part of your work you can be proud of yourself?
  • If there is exactly the same person in front of your self how you will describe it? What SWOT analysis you would make for him/her? What would you admire in him/her?

Weaknesses:

  • Which are your weak points?
  • What you can do about them?
  • How you can improve them?
  • At which points you are feeling insecure?
  • How you can get more practice on them in order to overcome this insecureness?
  • What kind of mistakes you are more often doing?
  • What is the reason for them?
  • What you can do about it in order to prevent doing it?

Opportunities for growth. DON`T STOP LEARNING!

  • What do you need in order to add more value and expand the skills and knowledge you already have?
  • Do you have interests in different fields?
  • Are they connected somehow to the skills and knowledge you already have?
  • Even if they are not connected can you connect or combine them in your activity?
  • What is your potential?
  • What are your vision for your life and the life itself?
  • What are your dreams?

Threats:

  • What do you afraid of?
  • Can you define if and when you act due to fear?
  • What kind of external factors can affect you, your actions, your way of thinking, your mood, your way of work, and your self-esteem?
  • What you can do in order to limit or minimize those influences?
  • Make a risk prevention plan for your life.

Be honest with your answers. It`s important to have the correct picture of yourself. Knowing yourself is the force that nobody can take away from you and hurt you with gaslighting.

Making your own measurement system to which you can refer in abusive situations will keep you confident, unshakable, and independent by others’ opinions. Feedback is a good thing when is genuine, constructive and it`s target is to become better not to manipulate you or to ruine your self-esteem.

The worst thing is to not do anything. Action will give you more confidence.

Make the analysis and start acting accordingly even if you are scared. Make an action plan to reach your goals or main points from the analysis.

Take control of your life.

  • Make the analysis
  • Make an action plan for your goals
  • Ask for help
  • Report the case
  • Find a coach
  • Take our program “Personal SWOT analysis” for deeper understanding and help in making and executing your action plan.
 
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My madness greats your madness

My madness greets your madness or

My uniqueness greets your uniqueness

I start with this provoking title to release the worries many people have that if they show their uniqueness they will be judged, claimed, or even labeled like crazy by some people that don`t understand it. (I`m not talking about here real clinical cases) Simply some people are not able just to understand different perspectives or in some cases even gaslighting you or manipulating you. And now I want to give more information for a better understanding of those threats as you could be in such a situation but you could even not be able to notice it.

What does gaslighting means?

The term gaslighting comes from the 1938 British play Gaslight, in which the husband misplaces random objects around the house and dims the gaslight to make his wife think she is going crazy(when she is not).

How this is used in life today?

The gaslighter externalizes and projects their thoughts, feelings, or perceptions onto the victim. In other words, they are trying to tell the other people who they are according to their perception and demanding the people to accept this as their “real self”.

What includes:

  • Minimizing feelings – telling you that you are too much emotional, overreacting.
  • The questioning reality, your memories, and past events
  • Denial of the bad things they did
  • Reputation dragging – trying to discredit you in front of others, doing things behind your back, and trying to present it as yours
  • Using your words against you in different meanings or in an inapplicable situation to drag you down. Here we could add the trolling as well.

You can read more about gaslighting on The Science of people

The second case is manipulation in

“The victim drama triangle”.

So, in this case, there is a Persecutor that makes your life impossible and blames you for everything, even for the bad things they are doing. The target is to push the Victim to go to the Rescuer that has to save it according to the plan and this is the only option because the Victim is convinced that is powerless, hopeless, tucked, and incapable. The problem is that in this case the victim`s self-esteem is smashed, not able to see the real self-value and uniqueness. In other words, is destroyed to be built according to the Rescuer’s desires losing herself/himself. As a result, the Victim`s wishes, desires, dreams, potential, talent, and uniqueness are diminished and people are forced to be and do what their abuser wants. They are reworded when they go in the “right” direction and punished when they are themself. In the end, people could have a lot but at the same time are unhappy and unsatisfied, and are trying to compensate for what is missing with wanting more and more, and enough is never enough. If they want to make a change they would be most probably gaslighted with reputation dragging or make them ashamed that they have a lot but they are unsatisfied and unthankful to the Rescuer. In other words, the Rescuer that saved them and build them after they were destroyed can also break them if they don`t please them.

Both cases Gaslighting and the Drama triangle are violent, very dangerous ones that can ruin people`s lives. If you are a victim of any of them do not hesitate to ask for help and you can follow also the steps described in the article from the link above.

THE GOOD NEWS

While there could be such people that will call you crazy there always will be other people that will see the beauty of your uniqueness and the good news is that there is research for this. It shows that:

Being weird is a huge dopamine producer for other people.

(dopamine – the happiness hormone)

The research also shows that weird experiences or communicating with such people boost people`s creativity, cognitive activity, and pattern recognition. It gets their brain working a new way and be more flexible. More information about the research you can watch in their free course on Udemy: 7 – scientifically proven steps to increase your influence

I want to share with you the example of Vanessa Van Edwards (you can watch it in the video course) to make unique business cards lollipops. Yes, you had read correctly lollipops. Do you know what was the reaction of the people she gave?

The coolest business cards ever.”

So showing your uniqueness will not only capture their interest but also will boost their happiness, creativity, and flexibility.

How to show our uniqueness without hurting others?

There is a simple and easy way that you can use even for taking decisions.

Try to use your unique talent, skills, and potential to create a Win-Win situation for all parties – You and the others. Appreciate and show your value, not for the loss of the other party but instead, try to show your uniqueness and compliment their uniqueness as well.

My uniqueness greets your uniqueness.

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Make your challenges profitable

      Today there won`t be a person that does not face a challenge, especially after Covid-19 pandemic. Even the children had to face it. Some people think that this is the way to grow. No, I don`t think so because this is only to lose our focus on other direction and often is not the best one to reveal our potential. Also it creates lost benefits for the current persona and for the sociaty itself. 

Example: 

When there weren’t sewerage people were struggling for freshwater. One person decided to carry water and made a business from it, later they made the sewerage and we are doing it today as well.

        Anyway, if you are placed in such a situation is better to make it work for you, not just to lose your time.

How you can do it?

       If your challenge is a lack of resources or services they may be the other people also are facing it. YOu can make a short research on the market and answer the following questions that will help you to clarify how you can do it.

  • Can you solve the problem or offer a better solution?
  • Can you fo it by yourself?
  • If not. Can you make it with support?
  • Do other people need it as well?

     If you have the solution and other people are struggling with the same then help them and solve their problem as well making a business from it with a win-win model for all.


Join our program

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Best invetsment is in human potential

WHY?

      Because the only thing that creates value from each resource or asset is the human. The wood is just wood. What makes it in a chair, table or paper is the human potential. The seeds are just seeds. What makes them in bread is human activity. Everything that we have so far like goods or services is made by the human and this is the real capital that makes our lives better, provides us with goods or services, and make the profit.

What is the money then?

(fiat or crypto)

    Money was made to make the trading of goods easier and replace the exchange of goods. So they are only a numerical expression of the value of the goods or services that actually carries it.

The Problem

Today we don`t appreciate the real value but the expression of it.

The Solution

invest the numerical expression in the real carrier of the value – the human potential.

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Why business coaching?

Business coaching

The future of business consulting

WHY?

In business coaching we decided to combine the streights of coaching, our finance experience, planing and strategies.

What we have up to now?

  • Coaching – you are working with the coach to define your goals and the needed steps to accoplishe them
  • Business consultansy and financial services – helps you to organise your financial and business activities
  • Planing and strategies – helps you to grow your business anctivities implementing the right strategies for you and plan all needed steps and resources you need

People have to take all the information and value they have received and work additionaly on how to use the info and apply it in their business. During the process they might miss some of the points, part of the information, so part of the value of spent time and money could be missed as well.

Now imagine all this time and work combined to work faster without losing value and unleashing the hidden potential of your business.

Why this is the future of business services?

  • Most consultants already are using coaching metods in order to understand better the clients business and offer better services and decision.
  • Automation, digitalization and AI are taking over the repeating tasks, processes and making alanisys of big volume of data much faster. This wil take some of the work people perform. And this is OKAY because we will have more time to focus on more valuable tasks and will be able to bring much highier value combined with the technologies to our clients.

Now you can take advantage of our combined business services.

LET`S LIGHT UP THE FUTURE!

  • Join us this Summer on Summit made to launch your DREAMS and IDEAS.
  • Take advantage of the combined business coaching implemented in our Summit model covering all needed topics from defining you dreams and idea, business planing, marketing and needed tools.
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Control the processes, not the people

Control the processes, not the people

Why?

Because when we have a good control over the processes we don`t need to control the people. With the implementation of different new technologies, it`s very easy to create good processes and to have good control over them. We have to keep in mind that when we are creating the processes we have to do it with our employees. Also, we have to review and update them during the time in order to keep them suitable for the work reality. If there is a delay, then you should review the process and see what is the reason causing this delay, then you can correct the process or creating a new one depending on the situation. And all this we have to do with our employees. It`s teamwork.

We need to give freedom and empower people in order to let them perform the work for which we hired them in the best possible way. As Steve Jobs said: “It doesn`t make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do, we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.”

And also it depends on what someone understands for undermanagement. For example, in accountancy, if you don`t have problems it`s a sign of well-performed work but most of the managers don`t understand it and don`t appreciate it till they don`t start to have problems and then realize that to not have problems is good work.

Regarding management, I prefer to talk about leadership management because this is the future of management and is lasting longer when you walk out of the room.

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